Thoughts for the journey » Family

Giving thanks

Jason Steckel — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 16:12:50 +0000

People across our country today are celebrating Thanksgiving Day. Many people will eat turkey, enjoy football, visit with family, and enjoy a day of rest. We have come a long way from the small gathering at Plymouth in 1621. In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln signed into law the official holiday that we celebrate today.

For many people, today is the start of the Christmas season. As I sit at my dad’s house and watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, I know that Santa’s arrival on 34th Street is not far away. Tomorrow morning (or even late tonight), millions of shoppers will descend on stores opening early for “Black Friday” specials. This weekend, our family will set up our Christmas decorations. By Sunday evening, we will have our tree up and the lights on. To quote Andy Williams, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

But as followers of Jesus, let’s not get lost in the turkey, football, and shopping. Let’s make sure we take time to be thankful. The apostle Paul wrote, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17)

Whether it’s the way you treat other people on Black Friday, your reactions to the craziness of the coming month, or your attitude towards your Christmas list, remember to frame everything through the Kingdom of God.

When he was talking to the Ephesians elders. Paul said, “I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” (Acts 20:33-35)

In a season when every TV commercial seems to tell us to want, want, want, and take, take, take, let’s fight against that trend and focus on giving. That begins with an attitude of thanksgiving. Whether it’s Paul’s words to the Colossians (quoted above) or his words to the church in Phlippi, our way of thinking shapes how we approach life. In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul wrote, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Thankfulness often emerges from the willingness to give. I have learned that the more I learn to be content, the easier it is to be thankful. We are surrounded by a society that ties our contentment to our possessions. Almost every commercial tells us that our happiness is dependent upon buying their product.

While there is nothing wrong with getting a new toy, television, or car, we cannot allow our joy to be controlled by what we do or do not have. The more I have learned to be content with whatever I have, the more thankful I have become for what I have. One of the ironies of life is that many of the most joyful people I have met in my life have been the ones who have the least. Whether it’s people in Brazil, children in inner-city Cincinnati, or homeless people in Oakland County, I have often found the strongest sense of thankfulness in the lives of people who, from the world’s perspective, have the least amount to be thankful for.

Take time today to reflect on what you have instead of what you don’t have. In last few weeks I have been reminded of what is truly important in life. Jeremy’s death has reminded me that stuff isn’t all that important, but that relationships are the most valuable things we share. Make sure that in this season of thankfulness that you take time to celebrate and focus on the relationships that you have. Hug your family. Make time for friends. Thank God for the people that are important to you. The ultimate gift is not anything you can buy. It’s your time and presence in the lives of others than is the greatest thing you can give.

shine!
Jason

What’s been going on?

Jason Steckel — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 03:49:38 +0000

I have not blogged in a few weeks, so I am going to try to reflect on what I have experienced over the last couple of weeks…

From August 7-14, I was in Cincinnati with 26 RCC students, a handful of adults, and a team from the Warrenton (Virginia) Church of Christ. It was an incredible week where everyone worked hard and accomplished a lot for the Kingdom. Our team painted three houses and spent time with children in the community (as well as feeding them a meal each day). Even though the temperatures were in the mid-90′s all week (with a heat index well over 100), everyone worked without complaining. I was amazed by their attitudes and desire to finish the tasks before them. I am pretty sure that Cincinnati impacted most us as much, if not more, than we impacted it. It was a great week!

After a few days home to catch my breath (which really means taking care of all of the details that get neglected when you’re out of town), I left for the trip I am currently on. Last Friday, I spent the day traveling to Minnesota for a retreat and week-long intensive class for MREML program. Over the weekend, I stayed on campus at Luther Seminary, hung out with Mark Love, Sara Barton, and my cohort. We discussed a variety of things and ended the weekend worshipping at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church and then Solomon’s Porch.

The last two days have been spent hanging out with Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt, and the authors of the other two books we are reading for this class. (Well, we had to Skype with the one who lives in Chicago.) We have been spending our days at Solomon’s Porch and our evenings enjoying the Twin Cities. (Despite what Ryan Woods says, the Twin Cities have some good coffee and good coffee shops.) One of the highlights of the week so far for me was walking through a prayer labyrinth this afternoon.

The next couple of days will be spent further discussing hospitality as leadership (this is the title of our class). I am still trying to process the things we are hearing and learning, and I am listening to hear what God might be trying to tell me in this season of life and ministry. When you turn 40 – as I did in May of this year – your perspective on life makes a shift. Well, at least mine has. I am realizing that I have (statistically) lived over half of my life.

What am I going to do with the rest of my life? What does God have in store for me? What do I need to learn? How can I listen better to God? What does it mean to be a follower of Jesus?

As I reflect on the last couple of weeks, I realize that God is not done with me yet. He has turned dread into joy. He has opened my eyes to new things. He is transforming frustration into hope. And there is so much more He is doing that I am not realizing.

I have more questions that I do answers. I continue to learn that the more I discover, the less I know. God continues to remind me that He is God and I am not. Every time I think I know what I am doing, I realize that I am pretty clueless.

I consider myself a cautious optimist. I try to look at the glass as half full without trying to convince myself that I am promised a free refill. As I consider my life, my family, and my ministry, I am hopeful for the future. I believe that God has great things in mind for the Steckel family and the Rochester Church. I know that the road ahead will not always be easy, but I can find peace in the fact that regardless of where the road leads, God will be there.

Well, I could go on (and I already have too much), but this is just an update on where life has taken me over the month of August. I miss my wife, I miss my son, and I miss my Rochester family. I can’t wait to get back home and reunite with all of them as we continue on this journey of faith that we are pursuing as a family and community.

shine!
Jason

It takes a village

Jason Steckel — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:46:00 +0000

As I think about Mother’s Day, I think about the African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” While much has been made about these words since Hillary Clinton used them as a title for a book and in her campaign, I want to consider them in light of the call for the church to be a place of community.
While our society has embraced this proverb through some of our actions, I believe we have abandoned some key elements of this attitude at the same time. When it comes to schools, sports teams, various activities, and even spiritual formation, many parents have looked to the village to raise their child. However, we often miss what I believe is an important part of being a village.
Parents seem to have become defensive when people actually try to act as a village. While I am not one to look back at the “good old days” with blind delusions of awe and wonder, I do sense we have lost an important part of what it means to be a village. We are often unable to criticize (constructively) or discipline (appropriately) other people’s children. Whether it’s a school official, a coach, or even a fellow church member, many of us have gotten to the point where we lash out at anyone who questions the behavior or attitude of our children.
While I am not sure what all has caused this shift, I am pretty sure it has not been for our good.
Those of us in the church should embrace and, if we have abandoned it, return to the idea that we are a village. While children have one mother who is ultimately responsible for rearing them, the church is full of mothers (and fathers) who can and should be helping with the rearing of every child.
I will admit that this is challenging for me at times. It’s not always enjoyable as a parent to hear that your child behaved in a certain way. Sometimes it challenges my parenting, which can make me defensive. But if my primary concern is the development of my child, and not my pride or the way people perceive me, then I will receive those words with humility and openness.
Maybe this gets to the heart of one of the biggest deficiencies in the church today, the unwillingness to be confronted about much of anything. As much as my child needs other adults to observe and correct behavior and attitudes, I need the same thing. If the church could be a place where people are invited to lovingly confront others for behaviors and attitudes that don’t reflect the nature and character of Christ, maybe we could experience a new level of spiritual development.
It doesn’t just take a village to raise a child; it takes a village for each of us to grow as disciples of the One who made us a village in the first place.

shine!
Jason

Surprise!

Jason Steckel — Sat, 08 May 2010 13:35:18 +0000

It’s hard to believe that in less than a week I will turn 40!
I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who was a part of my surprise party last weekend! It was truly a blessing to spend the evening with so many of you. Thank you for the gifts, cards, food, and most importantly, your presence.
The last four and half years have been some of the best years of my life, and much of that joy is because of everyone at Rochester Church! We have laughed together and cried together. We have celebrated and mourned together. We have rejoiced in new life and suffered through death and loss.
As I look back on the last four decades of my life, it is amazing to see all of the ways that God has been leading me and all of the relationships God has made it possible for me to enjoy.
As I think about so many of you who have become an important part of my life, let me share with you the words of the apostle Paul. I believe that they reflect my thoughts about so many of you (except for the imprisonment part…haha):
Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.
I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. (Philippians 1:3-11)
Thanks again to all of you for your various signs of appreciation. I was touched by your thoughtfulness and willingness to sacrifice an evening on my behalf. Your love never ceases to amaze me! Michelle, Matthew, and I consider it a blessing from God to call all of you friends and family.

shine!
Jason

Rooms on the move

Jason Steckel — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:48:09 +0000

Today, two dear friends came over and helped us paint two rooms in our house. Well, OK, I didn’t do any painting, but that was by request. The last time I tried to help with a painting project at my house with friends, they basically said, “Jason, step away from the paint roller and no one gets hurt.” If you have a basement wall or primer work, give me a call. If you want a good paint job, ask me to get you some water and move furniture.
Anyway, we are swapping Matthew’s bedroom and our office/guest room. This has been a fun little project. Michelle will now have a room for doing homeschool, instead of having to work at the kitchen table. Let me stop for a minute and tell you how proud I am of my family. Michelle does a great job schooling Matthew. A lot of that is because she looks at life as a classroom. While she and Matthew do sit down to do school work, she also looks for opportunities for learning away from the “classroom.” I also love that she integrates faith and Scripture into her teaching. Her hard work is paying off! I have been impressed with the servant heart and character of my son. I know that much of that is due to the hard work of Michelle. She is an incredible woman!
Back to the rooms. Matthew is pretty excited about his new bedroom. The top third of the walls are white and the bottom two-thirds are Steeler gold. Yes, Matthew’s new room will be a Steeler room which will include black and gold paint, a Ben Roethlisberger Fat Head, a football with autographs from Super Bowl XL (including Ben’s), and a few other Steeler’s items grandpa has provided. It will be a fun and colorful room.
It is always refreshing to move things around, sort through stuff, and give rooms a fresh coat of paint. There is a feeling of renewal in the Steckel house this weekend.

shine!
Jason

Camp out

Jason Steckel — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:16:46 +0000

Last night I enjoyed another camp out with my son.
You might think I am crazy to have a camp out in March in Michigan, but it’s not exactly what you think.
From time to time, we will pull the cushion off the futon in our guest room and put it out in front of the the fireplace in the living room. Then we turn on the fireplace, which serves as our “campfire.” Matthew and I lay there and pray together, talk for a bit, and then drift off to dreamland.
These are some of the moments that I will cherish the most as my little boy grows up. There will come a day when this may not be so fun and cool. However, I am hoping that one day they will transform into camp outs where we can sit around a real campfire and talk about more profound aspects of life.
Every moment is precious and I know I don’t always make enough time for my family. But I know that little things like these “camp outs” will be more important than any investment I can make in a retirement account.
If you have children, be sure to make time for moments like this. Unlike money in a bank account, they are investments that can never be taken away. They are the down payment on your future relationship with your children. Don’t trade them in for the cheap substitutes of money, power, prestige, and possessions. Make time for the most important things and you will be richer than you could ever imagine.

shine!
Jason

Hospitality

Jason Steckel — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:42:33 +0000

Have you ever had an ‘a-ha’ moment when something that has been right in front of you for a long time becomes obvious?

I had one of those moments yesterday during our church service. During the sermon, Josh Graves was talking about hospitality. In the midst of his words, I realized something.

My dad is one of the most hospitable people I know.

When we go to his house, he makes you feel like he really wants you to be there. He makes sure he has drinks on hand that we like. He makes food that he knows we like. He serves us while we’re there. When he brings you something to eat, he waits for your reaction to see how much you enjoy it.

He has always been like that.

Thanks, Dad, for helping me learn what it means to be a servant and a host.

shine!
Jason

Reflections on the dozen days

Jason Steckel — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:16:55 +0000

Two weeks ago today, my family and I departed on our tour of the east coast. Well, not exactly.

The Wednesday we left, we headed down to Belpre, Ohio. I served at the Belpre Church of Christ before I moved to Rochester. It was good to see some old friends. It has been three years since we left Belpre and I really enjoyed seeing some people who were an important part of our life during our time there.

Thursday was our trip to Hilton Head, South Carolina. I spent a few days there and was blessed to perform the marriage ceremony for Anna Collier and Darin Sampson. I met Anna when she was in middle school. Her family used to attend the Amherst Church of Christ when they lived in Ohio. Amherst is where I started my full-time ministry work over nine years ago.

We really enjoyed our time in Hilton Head. In addition to the Collier family, we saw some other friends we knew from our days in the Mid-Ohio Valley. We also made some new friends, including the family we stayed with while we were there. Matt and Martha are great people and their little girl is adorable.

When we left South Carolina on Sunday, we headed down to Walt Disney World. This was the first time Matthew had been there and Michelle and I had not been there in a few decades.

We spent Monday at EPCOT. It was a little rainy, but my awesome wife was prepared with ponchos and umbrellas. (I am glad we didn’t have to spend over $20 to get WDW ponchos.) Even with the rain, we had a blast.

Tuesday was Animal Kingdom day. This is a smaller park, but still very enjoyable. We saw two great shows, another OK show, and rode Expedition Everest twice. Matthew loved the ride. (He has become quite the thrill ride connoisseur.)

On Wednesday, we ventured to Disney Hollywood Studios. Again, Matthew really enjoyed the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. To quote Matthew, "That was awesome!" We also enjoyed the shows, seeing Darth Vader in person, and the Toy Story ride. The Toy Story ride is new and has longer waits, but it’s worth it. If you go, make the time to ride it!

We ended our week with two days in the Magic Kingdom. We needed two days to do everything Matthew wanted to do. From rides to shows, parades to fireworks, these were two action-packed days! Matthew was able to ride Space Mountain (twice!), Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (twice!), Splash Mountain, and much more. He also got pictures with and autographs from a lot of characters all week. I could write pages and pages about these two days in the Magic Kingdom, but I know they were a great ending to the week.

I have a lot of great memories, but one of the things I brought home with me is Friday evening. It was about an hour before we had to leave the park and I was standing in line with Matthew to ride the Astro Orbiter ride one more time. As I stood there with my boy, it hit me. It hit me that this moment will never happen again. It hit me that Matthew will never be seven again. It hit me that every moment is precious.

I am a work-a-holic. Sometimes I am a recovering work-a-holic. Other times I have fallen off the wagon.

I was reminded this past week to make time for family. I was reminded this past week to protect time with family. All of the stuff in this world is just that…stuff. But time can never be replaced. Time is the most precious commodity we have and God used this trip to remind me that I have wasted far too much of that commodity in the past. I have a renewed passion to be more intentional about family time. It is the most important investment in the world.

shine!
Jason

Disney – Day 1

Jason Steckel — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 11:24:53 +0000

Yesterday was a great day at Epcot. Matthew really enjoyed the first day of his Disney experience, which means we enjoyed it, too.
At the end of the day, we were discussing our favorite ride of the day. Each of us had our own. For Matthew, it was Spaceship Earth (because he got to ride inside the big ball). For Michelle, it was Soarin. For me, it was Mission: Space. We all agree that Illuminations was a highlight of the day.
Today, we head to Animal Kingdom. Adventures await!

shine!
Jason

The Clone Wars

Jason Steckel — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:22:17 +0000

Today we took Matthew to see Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It was pretty fun to surprise him. Here is how it went down…

We told Matthew to get in the car because we had a surprise for him. He started guessing immediately. His first guess was Great Lakes Crossing. I said, "Maybe, maybe not." I guess he figured that meant it was the location, because he stopped asking and went out to the car.

After we headed east on M-59 instead of west, he was confused. This wasn’t the way to Great Lakes. He looked around, hoping for a clue. Then we got off at the Mound Round exit, and from the back of the car I hear, "This isn’t where Great Lakes is." He was checking out every store and sign for a clue.

We pulled into the AMC 30 parking lot and he figured we were going to see a movie, but he had no idea which one. I ran ahead to get the tickets so he wouldn’t know. Then, somehow, we got him into the theater without letting him see the sign above the door. (Michelle did a good job of distracting him. Normally, we can’t sneak much of anything past him.)

We found a good seat and waited. First the advertisements. Then the previews. Finally, it was show time.

When the LucasFilm logo popped up on the screen, Matthew was intrigued. But then the next thing on the screen brought a huge smile to his face…

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"

Matthew looked up at me and said, "The Clone Wars!" He was grinning from ear to ear.

For the next hour and forty-five minutes were treated to action and adventure. Lasers and lightsabers. Sith and Jedi. I really enjoyed the movie. It stayed true to the Star Wars story and was enjoyable.

I am sure some major Star Wars junkies might find some imperfection or something, but I was thoroughly entertained. Anakin acted like Anakin. Obi-Wan was Obi-Wan. There were a lot of Star Wars "regulars" and a few new characters as well. I was not disappointed.

There was some violence. It is The Clone WARS. But the violence is not graphic and mixed well with the action. There are not many slow moments, and even the slow moments weren’t dull. Before I knew it, the movie was over.

Whether you are a big Star Wars fan or not, this is a good movie to go see. I don’t like to spend the big money to go to the theater. (Although AMC’s new $5 weekday prices make it better.) This movie is worth seeing on the big screen. Enjoy!

shine!
Jason