We live in a world where intimacy has been redefined to the point where many people struggle to understand what intimacy is really supposed to look like. Over the last 100 years, our society has changed significantly, both for the better and the worse. While I acknowledge many benefits from our “advancements” over the last century, I want to focus in this post on some of the things that have been lost.

The advancements in technology have significantly changed the way we communicate. A little over 100 years ago, you basically had two ways to communicate. You could talk face to face with someone or send them a letter. Today, we can call, Skype, text, email, and use a variety of other methods of communication. With social media websites like Facebook, we are able to maintain “friendships” with thousands of people. While there are benefits to these changes, there is a significant downside that we often fail to recognize, or at least acknowledge. One of the casualties resulting from this myriad of communication options is the lack of depth in most relationships. While many people have a lot more “friends” thanks to Facebook, few – if any – of those relationships develop to the point of real intimacy. I may know what musicians hundreds of people like. I may get to see their pictures from a sporting event or read a catchy quote from the book they are reading. But do I really know them?

Study after study shows that while this generation of young people is the most connected in history, this same generation experiences levels of loneliness, depression, and abandonment that have never been seen before. We know more (people), but we know less. Our relationships have become much more shallow. When friends communicate mostly though texting and messages, they lose the ability to see one another’s expressions, read body language, and build the level of intimacy that only comes through spending time in one another’s presence.

Is it any wonder that more and more people feel disconnected from God and have a hard time developing a deeper relationship with God? The Bible is not a catalogue of text messages. The Holy Spirit seeks more than an occasional status update on how your life is going. The Father does not just want to get an occasional call from his children. God desires deep, significant intimacy. And in a world where we seem to be moving 100 miles an hour and multi-tasking, developing that kind of intimate relationship is extremely challenging, if not impossible.

In addition, the saturation of marketing as a part of our society has created an environment where almost everything is measured on a surface level. Magazines spend hours perfecting their cover photo. People pay thousands of dollars to have surgery so they can look a few years younger. The label on clothing seems to be more important that the person inside the clothes. We are told over and over again that our value is determined by what car we drive, what pants we wear, what we drink, and a variety of other products that will make us the best person possible.

We have to be careful. This is the same attitude that led to things such as Hitler’s campaigns of euthanasia and genocide. I am not saying that we are all headed for mass murder, but when we determine someone’s worth based on their appearance, we are focusing on the wrong thing. The reality is that things haven’t changed much, even after thousands of years. God told the prophet Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) While this has always been a struggle for people, our societies overwhelming focus on the surface has made it even harder to listen to and live according to the words spoken to Samuel.

The third leg of this stool is the immense sexualization of nearly everything. It’s nearly impossible to watch TV, listen to music, or even walk down the hallways of a school and not be overwhelmed by the ways in which sexuality is shaping our society. A recent study determined that “92% of the 174 songs that made it into the Top Ten in 2009 contained one or more reproductive messages, with an average of 10.49 reproductive phrases per song.” Sexuality is everywhere and almost nothing is off-limits anymore. I am not trying to be a prude, but this kind of exposure can be destructive emotional, socially, and spirituality.

Our society is teaching us to pursue immediate gratification. This onslaught of messages for cheap and easy intimacy is welcome news to a generation starving for attention, affection, and acceptance. Like a child raised on Cheetos and candy bars, this steady diet of a message that teaches short-term, immediate satisfaction develops a habit of “consuming” whatever brings happiness at the moment, regardless of the long-term “nutritional value.” The very “solution” to loneliness that our society parades before us is actually making things worse.

So into the midst of this mess steps the pastor. She brings a message that is contrary to the one the world is screaming out. As voice after voice cries out in anguish, grasping whatever quick fix is available, the pastor seeks to share a message that brings true salvation, but also requires real intimacy.

People ask me all of the time why so many young people are leaving the church. I could probably list off dozens of reasons, but the scenario listed above would probably be at the top of the list. When we swim in water that is polluted with shallow relationships, surface assessments, and a sexualized view of most everything, we are sure to get sick.

So what does the pastor do?

Does he ignore everything around him and cluster his people in a bunker? No. We are called to be salt and light to the world. We cannot hide our light under a bushel.

Does she embrace the world and simply deliver the message of God by dressing it up in the clothing the society offers? No. What good is a salt that has lost it’s saltiness?

The pastor must start by examining his own heart and mind. While he cannot dictate how everyone else should live, the pastor can dictate how he lives. He must set expectations and standards for himself that allow him to maintain his saltiness and shine his light. This will not look identical for every pastor, but the principles cannot be ignored.

Then the pastor must live her life in a way that reflects the light of Christ. She will not be perfect, but she must pursue perfection. Without judging others, she must present her life as a living sacrifice that embodies the character of God. When she does this, the light will expose the darkness in her midst, both in the lives of others and (here is the scariest part) herself.

This is not an easy journey or calling. Being a pastor is an immense blessing, but it also carries significant challenges. As I wrestle with all of the questions raised by the challenges above, I don’t have all of the answers. But I will, in the words of Paul, “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12)

shine!
Jason

As I reflect on Jeremy’s life and on my own, I am challenged by his example. I have had a number of people comment on the words I shared, along with Patrick and Adam, about Jeremy at his funeral. To every person who made a similar comment, I have responded by saying that Jeremy made it easy.

I have attended and participated in funerals where it might be a challenge to uncover a lot of good words about the person who was being remembered. In Jeremy’s case, the opposite was true. There was not nearly enough time to share all of the good memories I have about Jeremy. While I would not consider him a close friend, we had grown much closer over the last year as we served alongside each other on staff here at Rochester Church.

Whether he was standing on stage, practicing with the praise team, or sitting in my office talking about ministry and life, Jeremy was always the same person. He didn’t have any pretenses or pride. He was not arrogant or self-serving. He was a good husband and father. He was a trustworthy friend. He was a man of God.

The word eulogy is a Greek word meaning “good words.” There have been endless good words shared about Jeremy over the last week because he was a good man. He was a witness to what it means to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Reflecting on his life over the last week has challenged me to be a better husband, a better father, and a better friend. I pray that when my time on this earth comes to an end that I will have lived in such a way that people speak good words about me.

Jeremy, I miss you.

shine!
Jason

There are two funds that have been set up for Veronica and her children as they deal with the loss of Jeremy. If you would like to contribute, here is the information…

You can send funds to the Rochester Church of Christ. Checks should be made payable to “Rochester Church of Christ” and earmarked “Member Care Fund.” It would also be helpful to enclose a note mentioning Jeremy. Those checks can be mailed to:

Rochester Church of Christ
250 West Avon Road
Rochester Hills, MI 48307

You can also donate to DeeperStill Ministries. Go to any Chase Bank, and make a deposit into account No. 879368868.

Yesterday, I announced I am expanding my responsibilities here at Rochester Church. I wanted to take a few minutes to address what that means for our church and the Ministry for Families with Youth.

I am excited for the future of Rochester Church. We are entering a new season filled with hope and opportunity and, as we partner with God in the future, I believe we will echo the words of the Apostle Paul, who wrote, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

As we begin this new season of ministry, I want to begin by saying that I will continue to be involved with my ministry to Rochester’s families with youth. My new role is an expansion of what I have been doing for the last five years. My goal is to help create throughout all four LifeStages the environment we have developed over the last five years in Families with Youth. I will continue to work with our students and families as my responsibilities expand.

As I mentioned in a meeting with parents and students on September 1, my desire is to continue a significant level of personal interaction with students in the future. That will require us to raise up and equip more volunteers to help with some of the logistical functions I have personally taken care of in the past. These volunteers will allow me to continue to interact with students and families as well as address my new responsibilities. In addition, we will be considering additional staff that I would work with and mentor as a ministry partner. As we evaluate the best way to effectively minister to our families with youth, we plan to include our students and families in any significant decisions regarding staff.

In my new role, I will also be supporting and coordinating pastoral efforts for all LifeStages. Working with Elders, Pastoral Care Ministers, Staff, and others, my goal is to increase our pastoral care for the family here at Rochester Church. In addition to ministering to those in difficult situations and seasons, we are going to be more intentional about creating ways to increase ongoing pastoral connections with the families here.

There are two other aspects of my new role that we believe will aid people in getting connected and staying connected. I will be coordinating and supporting our new member integration efforts. As we seek to help people connect, grow, and serve here at Rochester Church, we are hoping to build on the things we are doing to facilitate even more opportunities for new members to become an active part of this church body.

The other piece is to help people stay connected. One of the most important venues for creating an environment where people can establish deeper roots at Rochester Church is through small groups. While small groups have been an important part of the lives of some of our members, we are convinced that we can, and must, place a more intentional focus on small groups. Small groups is one of the most important places at Rochester Church where we can connect, grow, and serve.

I am excited about the future here at Rochester Church. I believe that God is going to move powerfully around us, in us, and through us in the months and years ahead. As I have told some of you before, I believe that God does some of His best work in seasons of change. As we move into a new season of ministry here at Rochester Church, I am blessed to be a part of an incredible team and a wonderful church family. I will enjoy continuing to work with our students and their families while expanding into new areas of serving. I look forward to many more years of working in the Kingdom with you.

shine!
Jason

shine!
Jason

On (or before) that Sunday, December 20, there are several ways you can help:

1) Donate Christmas cards.
Whether they are last year’s unused cards or cards you purchase and donate, we hope to gather as many blank Christmas cards as possible by Wednesday, December 16. To donate cards, please drop them off at the Cards for Cass Park table in the main lobby beginning Wednesday, December 9.

2) Students to Volunteer for Set Up.
We need 3-4 students to come early (8:25am) December 20 to help set up. Contact me to volunteer.

3) Breakfast Donations.
On Sunday, December 20, we need 6-8 families to offer to bring 2-3 dozen donuts or breakfast baked goods. Contact Trudy Kesler to sign up to bring these food items.

4) Assist at Card Signing Tables.
We need at least 4-6 students to “man the card tables” between services on December 20.

5) “Attend the Christmas Card Party”.
Sunday, December 20, between services, there will be a Christmas card “party” where you can sign cards in the main lobby. There are no classes between services on that Sunday, so there will be coffee (and donated donuts/breakfast foods) that will be available as well as several tables set up around the lobby with blank cards to sign. Please grab a cup of coffee, a donut, and sign some Christmas cards.

6) Students to Volunteer for Clean-Up.
We need 4-6 students to assist with clean up and putting away tables.

After second worship on Sunday, December 20, our Cass Park team will take these cards and distribute them to our friends at Cass Park. What a great opportunity to bless our friends during this holiday season.

shine!
Jason

shine!
Jason

shine!
Jason

shine!
Jason

Here is Focus: HOPE’s Mission Statement:
"Recognizing the
dignity and beauty of every person, we pledge intelligent and practical
action to overcome racism, poverty and injustice. And to build a
metropolitan community where all people may live in freedom, harmony,
trust and affection. Black and white, yellow, brown and red from
Detroit and its suburbs of every economic status, national origin and
religious persuasion we join in this covenant." (Adopted March 8, 1968)

Starting on November 9, our ministry will partner with Focus: HOPE
one Sunday a month to interact with some of the children in the
community. In some ways, this will look much like a smaller version of
our Mission: Cincinnati summer mission trip. We plan to engage in
activities with the children as well as help with things like reading.

I am looking forward to our time in Detroit with the children.
Please be praying for our group, the children, and the community where
we will be taking the love of Jesus.

shine!
Jason